Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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