I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
