im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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