Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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