I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
