is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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