Don't make out with my wife yet
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
