i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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