You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I puked a lego.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize