He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
