well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
