Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I came so hard my ears popped.
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