so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
