Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
God I need to hump something, right now.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
