help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
