She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
