mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
