I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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