i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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