im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
