im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
