I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
