i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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