Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
