I think I won the penis lottery.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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