her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You're like the curious george of whores
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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