yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
