Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
