im drinking this country out of the recession.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
