Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
