She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize