It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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