Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
