I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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