drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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