I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
