4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
