You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
