did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
