After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
