I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
