so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
this just has baby written all over it
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
