Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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