Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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