even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Well I just put wine in my tea
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
