YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
