I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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