I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
