All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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