well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
