is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
