Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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