he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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