ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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