well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm like, not good at living.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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