I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
nut hugger
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
