I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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