puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize