Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
