Sponge bath it is.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
