I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
