apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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